The Playground Mom: Which type are you?

We're all in one category or another at some point in time. I admit there are days when I want to just sit on the bench and zone out or read or stare at my phone while my conscience is telling me I better look up soon and do a visual sweep for toddler location. Being a parent to a toddler, whether you have one or four, is exhausting. There is no true down-time. I have yet to find the perfect playground for my 1 and 3 year old. It would involve zero hazards, enclosed area with multiple play scenarios and textures to keep them fully occupied for at least 45 minutes. Too much to ask? Meh. Maybe.

After attending a local playground recently and watching a movie on The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp, it was such a smack in the face of the different types of playground parents all present. I'm no expert. My degrees in parenting are a double major of two little boys which involves an education described as learn-as-you-go.

Here's what I observed

1. The Spotter Parent: Always one step behind. They aren't really saying anything to their kid but completely terrified they'll hurt themselves even when they're in an age-appropriate play area.

2. The Preoccupied Parent: This parent tells the kids, go play! then plops herself on a bench with her coffee and her phone or a book or both. She doesn't bother to or rarely bothers to look up. She's tired. I get it. She's exhausted. I GET IT. Meanwhile, their kid just hit another kid or fell down the stairs or toddled off towards the creek. Another parent has to bring them over to them and say, "Is this your child?"

3. The Over-Parent Parent: Watch out for the little ones! Be careful! Don't go over there! Be nice! Watch out for the little ones! Be careful! Go over here! Come back! Be nice! Don't yell too loud! Be quiet! Softer voice! Watch out! over and over and OVER. Don't yell too loud?! Are you serious? We're at a park and he's standing on a tree trunk pretending to be a super hero (or something). Let the kid empty his lungs. The poor kid of this mom literally had a screaming fit because he was completely overstimulated from his every move being controlled. She kept telling him to watch out for the little ones (my 1 year old) when he wasn't even close enough to Lincoln to hurt or knock him over. Lady, chill. Your kid is gonna have a nervous break....oh whoops. I watched this unfold in front of me. The kid wanted run on the stone slab with me and the boys. Right away, she told him no and tried to persuade him over to the other side as to not disturb us. I asked Talon if he wanted to ask this kid if he wanted to play with us but she managed to get her kid over to the other side before Talon could understand what was happening. My boys went over there too. Talon asked if he wanted to play with us. The kid said NO! I don't want to play with you. The mom told him that wasn't nice to say which was ridiculous because she wasn't acknowledging his feelings at all. It's fine you don't want to play with us; at least you're honest. And I can tell you're overwhelmed so we'll go back over here. The mom ended up holding his shirt in a power struggle as he's trying to get away saying she wants to talk with him when he's already shut down. Now she's threatening to go home, now she's trying to explain herself, now she's letting him hide...now is not the time to tell her to get on Amazon video and watch a little video called Happiest Toddler on the Block...

4. The Bubble Wrap Parent: This mom followed her (probably 5 or 6 year old)daughter around the playground helping her do EVERYTHING because she...couldn't do it herself? She held her hand and waist on the stepping stones. She held her up on the monkey bars. She spotted her on the baby slide. Does this mom think she's too  physically weak to do these things on her own? Think this kid is gonna have any dependence issues? Naaaah, not at all.

5. The Kid Parent: This is parent isn't afraid of making a fool of themselves on the playground. They play, growl, fall, snort, chase, climb and do everything with their kid regardless of kid gender.

6. The You're Fine Parent: Kid falls, cries and the parent tells them over and over that they're fine. NO, they're not. They fell and they are scared or hurt or both. Will you PLEASE FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR KID'S FEELINGS!? PLEASE?! Wow, you fell! That must have hurt? Are you okay? Wow, you fell! You go BOOM! Are you okay? You won't be raising a cry baby if you acknowledge your kid's feelings. In fact, you'll teach them that they matter and what they think matters...from now until when they're an adult. We ALL want to be acknowledged.

7. The Good Job/Good Girl/Good Boy Parent: This parent ends up giving their child absolutely zero feedback for what they're doing. It's "Good _____" on everything they do. The problem with this type of praise is that it teaches children to rely on others to judge their actions. They must meet other people's standards for them or risk disapproval. And why are we praising eating? Good eating! Is that really necessary? Your kid is a living thing and NEEDS to eat. It's not an option for his survival. How about praising their willingness to try a new food?