http://www.scarymommy.com/things-insecure-daughter-needs-to-know/

Cute cheeks, little noses, big heads full of brains and toddler lips are completely adorable.

Conversations with a 3 year old and other tidbits

March 29, 2015
Talon: I love you, Mama. I'm glad you're mine.
Me: Me too, Talon. I wouldn't trade you for the world.
Talon: Not even for a squirrel?
Me: Not even for a squirrel.

March 24,2015
Sometimes I like to torture myself by allowing myself to live 3000 years ago in Egypt in the palace of a boy king. He's 3 years old and if I don't fix his breakfast to his liking, my head will be on his platter.

March 15,2015
There is something so satisfying about washing a couple sand-covered, snack-smeared, dirt-infested, snot-rocket, tear-streaked, sun-kissed, sweat-soaked toddlers at the end of day. Happy Sunday!! 

Feb 5, 2015
Duck boots and pink duckie underwear? Check. Lincoln is ready...ready for what, I'm not sure yet

art emoticon



May 17, 2015
While watching Pitbull perform with his dancers on American Idol...
Talon: Mom, those girls are wearing a bra.
(a few minutes later)
Talon: Mom, my penis can lift things!

In the van on the way home from the store, I stick my hand in my sweatpants to adjust something I think is in my pants.
Me (to no one): What is in my pants?
Talon: Poo-poo? (Me: No) Pee-pee? (Me: No.) Wood chips? (Me: hhahaha! No!) Birds? (No!)

June 7, 2015
Watching The Fitness Marshall on YouTube doing Twerk It Like Miley.
Talon: Those girls are shaking their butts. Just like mama.

June 5, 2015
Talon: I'm gonna tell that tornado to go away!

The Playground Mom: Which type are you?

We're all in one category or another at some point in time. I admit there are days when I want to just sit on the bench and zone out or read or stare at my phone while my conscience is telling me I better look up soon and do a visual sweep for toddler location. Being a parent to a toddler, whether you have one or four, is exhausting. There is no true down-time. I have yet to find the perfect playground for my 1 and 3 year old. It would involve zero hazards, enclosed area with multiple play scenarios and textures to keep them fully occupied for at least 45 minutes. Too much to ask? Meh. Maybe.

After attending a local playground recently and watching a movie on The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp, it was such a smack in the face of the different types of playground parents all present. I'm no expert. My degrees in parenting are a double major of two little boys which involves an education described as learn-as-you-go.

Here's what I observed

1. The Spotter Parent: Always one step behind. They aren't really saying anything to their kid but completely terrified they'll hurt themselves even when they're in an age-appropriate play area.

2. The Preoccupied Parent: This parent tells the kids, go play! then plops herself on a bench with her coffee and her phone or a book or both. She doesn't bother to or rarely bothers to look up. She's tired. I get it. She's exhausted. I GET IT. Meanwhile, their kid just hit another kid or fell down the stairs or toddled off towards the creek. Another parent has to bring them over to them and say, "Is this your child?"

3. The Over-Parent Parent: Watch out for the little ones! Be careful! Don't go over there! Be nice! Watch out for the little ones! Be careful! Go over here! Come back! Be nice! Don't yell too loud! Be quiet! Softer voice! Watch out! over and over and OVER. Don't yell too loud?! Are you serious? We're at a park and he's standing on a tree trunk pretending to be a super hero (or something). Let the kid empty his lungs. The poor kid of this mom literally had a screaming fit because he was completely overstimulated from his every move being controlled. She kept telling him to watch out for the little ones (my 1 year old) when he wasn't even close enough to Lincoln to hurt or knock him over. Lady, chill. Your kid is gonna have a nervous break....oh whoops. I watched this unfold in front of me. The kid wanted run on the stone slab with me and the boys. Right away, she told him no and tried to persuade him over to the other side as to not disturb us. I asked Talon if he wanted to ask this kid if he wanted to play with us but she managed to get her kid over to the other side before Talon could understand what was happening. My boys went over there too. Talon asked if he wanted to play with us. The kid said NO! I don't want to play with you. The mom told him that wasn't nice to say which was ridiculous because she wasn't acknowledging his feelings at all. It's fine you don't want to play with us; at least you're honest. And I can tell you're overwhelmed so we'll go back over here. The mom ended up holding his shirt in a power struggle as he's trying to get away saying she wants to talk with him when he's already shut down. Now she's threatening to go home, now she's trying to explain herself, now she's letting him hide...now is not the time to tell her to get on Amazon video and watch a little video called Happiest Toddler on the Block...

4. The Bubble Wrap Parent: This mom followed her (probably 5 or 6 year old)daughter around the playground helping her do EVERYTHING because she...couldn't do it herself? She held her hand and waist on the stepping stones. She held her up on the monkey bars. She spotted her on the baby slide. Does this mom think she's too  physically weak to do these things on her own? Think this kid is gonna have any dependence issues? Naaaah, not at all.

5. The Kid Parent: This is parent isn't afraid of making a fool of themselves on the playground. They play, growl, fall, snort, chase, climb and do everything with their kid regardless of kid gender.

6. The You're Fine Parent: Kid falls, cries and the parent tells them over and over that they're fine. NO, they're not. They fell and they are scared or hurt or both. Will you PLEASE FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR KID'S FEELINGS!? PLEASE?! Wow, you fell! That must have hurt? Are you okay? Wow, you fell! You go BOOM! Are you okay? You won't be raising a cry baby if you acknowledge your kid's feelings. In fact, you'll teach them that they matter and what they think matters...from now until when they're an adult. We ALL want to be acknowledged.

7. The Good Job/Good Girl/Good Boy Parent: This parent ends up giving their child absolutely zero feedback for what they're doing. It's "Good _____" on everything they do. The problem with this type of praise is that it teaches children to rely on others to judge their actions. They must meet other people's standards for them or risk disapproval. And why are we praising eating? Good eating! Is that really necessary? Your kid is a living thing and NEEDS to eat. It's not an option for his survival. How about praising their willingness to try a new food?

The day in the life.

Talon's conversation skills are taking quite an impressive curve. He starts by sitting down, clasping his hands together and saying, "So guys..." A couple mornings ago after pouncing on our bed at 6am, he states "So guys, I don't have a sister..." We said 'No, you don't. Do you want one?' He said, 'Um, no, I don't want to trade my baby brother.' Good answer, kid. He asked us our opinion on which train we liked in the Thomas the Train magazine.  The child care girls at the gym often tell me that Talon is so helpful to Lincoln, looks out for him, stays with him when he's sad and is overall a sweet kid. (He has his moments for sure!) It's nice to hear they are kind and brave people when I'm tired and bored hanging out with limited-language, verbally-unskilled toddlers.

Lincoln pooped on the potty again yesterday. Celebrations all around; one little cute turd. 

We have a video of Talon saying all sorts of things at 20 months and Lincoln has weak enunciation. He says, Ah, me, mama, dada, yah, get down. I won't say Lincoln's speech development is delayed because he's not 2 years old (when they become officially delayed if certain milestones not met) yet but it's looking like calling for an assessment will be on my radar in the next couple months. In Lincoln's defense, he signs more than Talon. And frankly, Talon never signed at all. Talon knows what Lincoln wants and will speak for him sometimes (not helpful, T, thank you). Lincoln knows exactly what is going on and can follow directions that involve more than one step. His body awareness is fantastic, very agile and very strong. He understands a plethora of words - just can't say anything back yet. So far the pediatrician and I are holding on that he's just choosing to not speak because he hasn't had the need.

I never knew this about myself until I had toddlers but I'm not really that good at playing with them. I often find myself wishing they were older, potty-trained and able to tie their own shoes. I still adore, absolutely adore, watching their little 1 and 3 year old butts wiggle all over the place. But it'd be much more interesting to go on adventures and talk about the great world around us. We will still do that...just not now and it's frustrating. The boys are in a developmental stage that I find slightly annoying. Toddlers are completely irrational and I have little patience for their breakdowns. I don't show it in my face or body language. In fact, I usually try to go the complete opposite to off-set myself. In my head, I'm gritting my teeth, waiting for it to pass, trying to talk them through their crazy toddler world. Talon threw a screaming fit at lunch the other day. He kept getting in Lincoln's face and Lincoln was squealing for him to stop. I told Talon to stop and he gets all defensive, hitting the table, whipping his hands around. I said, "I understand you're mad but it is NOT appropriate for you to hit." He screamed, I carried him outside and we sat in silence until he was ready to speak but not before I tried to physically get him to sit down. All he wanted was to get away from me so I just let him sit on the other side of the space. De-escalation was key for him; not trying to talk or yell or reason because at this point, he's already shut down. We breathed, I explained, we re-directed, we went back in, all was better.

Poo-poo on potty!

Lincoln went poo-poo on the potty yesterday, 1/31/15. Woo hoo! Still a long way from potty-training but it's a step in the right direction!

I lost Talon today.

Dear Talon,

Today was the first time I ever lost you in a public place.

You, Lincoln, Dada, Nana and I went to the Denver Nature and Science Museum this afternoon. We were in the whale exhibit looking around. You were so excited and were running around. I was trying to read one of the plaques about whales that beach themselves. You were still in my peripheral vision then I turned to look for you and you were gone.

 

I don't even really remember how long it was...I'm guessing 20 minutes. Time just sort of stopped. One family we'd seen earlier in the day was staring at me, looking on with empathy or sympathy, one of the two, knowing I'd lost my kid. They looked almost just as helpless, sort of looking around too. I realized walking speed gradually increases from cruising around looking to turbo-hyper freak out mode. I went from thinking someone picked you up, covered your mouth then headed out a side door to 'Oh he's fine somewhere, this is the museum and the doors can be locked' then back to 'What if they're already out?!'

We looked for you ourselves for a few minutes then told the security guards. After a few more minutes, they radioed the whole museum guards. Everyone was on the case. I walked through the gift shop, asked the cashier if he'd seen a little boy in a blue pants and a white sweatshirt come through. Wide-eyed, he said no, his face softened wishing he could have said yes. I took Lincoln from Jason because he was crying for me.

I thanked all the guards for their help. The one guard said, "You're doing really great, staying calm." I half-laughed, kind of said thanks and thought, 'Yeh, I'm saving it for if I really do need to totally lose my mind.'

Then the head guard heard something come in on the radio. I was hoping it was something about them finding him. It was; it was about a little boy they'd found in the atrium on the 1st floor. I went down two stories, two escalators to get to you. There you were at the bottom. You saw me, waved, pointed and said, "Mama!" I completely broke down crying and temporarily paralyzed (why I didn't run down the escalator as I think back is beyond me) but I had Lincoln in my arms, the guard next to me and I felt stuck on the step and just so happy you were in front of me safe. The woman and older guard with you said you were only minimally panicking. On one hand, I'm so proud that you felt confident and independent enough to go explore on your own. On the other hand, I wanted to tell you to never leave me again.

When tucking you in for bed tonight, you said, "You wait for me at the escalator and you were crying. You were holding Lincoln, my baby brother and you were crying Mama." I explained I was crying because I was so scared that I'd lost you and so happy that I'd found you.

Jason wasn't saying much but I could tell he was scared. He told me later he's mad at me. I get it; so scared you get mad. He did say that it could have happened to either one of us.  My chest is still rattling and I'm mad too-- for all sorts of reasons.

Bottom line, I'm glad you're home and safe. I love you, Talon. I'm glad you're mine. I love you to infinity and beyond.

Love,

Mama