Poo-poo on potty!

Lincoln went poo-poo on the potty yesterday, 1/31/15. Woo hoo! Still a long way from potty-training but it's a step in the right direction!

I lost Talon today.

Dear Talon,

Today was the first time I ever lost you in a public place.

You, Lincoln, Dada, Nana and I went to the Denver Nature and Science Museum this afternoon. We were in the whale exhibit looking around. You were so excited and were running around. I was trying to read one of the plaques about whales that beach themselves. You were still in my peripheral vision then I turned to look for you and you were gone.

 

I don't even really remember how long it was...I'm guessing 20 minutes. Time just sort of stopped. One family we'd seen earlier in the day was staring at me, looking on with empathy or sympathy, one of the two, knowing I'd lost my kid. They looked almost just as helpless, sort of looking around too. I realized walking speed gradually increases from cruising around looking to turbo-hyper freak out mode. I went from thinking someone picked you up, covered your mouth then headed out a side door to 'Oh he's fine somewhere, this is the museum and the doors can be locked' then back to 'What if they're already out?!'

We looked for you ourselves for a few minutes then told the security guards. After a few more minutes, they radioed the whole museum guards. Everyone was on the case. I walked through the gift shop, asked the cashier if he'd seen a little boy in a blue pants and a white sweatshirt come through. Wide-eyed, he said no, his face softened wishing he could have said yes. I took Lincoln from Jason because he was crying for me.

I thanked all the guards for their help. The one guard said, "You're doing really great, staying calm." I half-laughed, kind of said thanks and thought, 'Yeh, I'm saving it for if I really do need to totally lose my mind.'

Then the head guard heard something come in on the radio. I was hoping it was something about them finding him. It was; it was about a little boy they'd found in the atrium on the 1st floor. I went down two stories, two escalators to get to you. There you were at the bottom. You saw me, waved, pointed and said, "Mama!" I completely broke down crying and temporarily paralyzed (why I didn't run down the escalator as I think back is beyond me) but I had Lincoln in my arms, the guard next to me and I felt stuck on the step and just so happy you were in front of me safe. The woman and older guard with you said you were only minimally panicking. On one hand, I'm so proud that you felt confident and independent enough to go explore on your own. On the other hand, I wanted to tell you to never leave me again.

When tucking you in for bed tonight, you said, "You wait for me at the escalator and you were crying. You were holding Lincoln, my baby brother and you were crying Mama." I explained I was crying because I was so scared that I'd lost you and so happy that I'd found you.

Jason wasn't saying much but I could tell he was scared. He told me later he's mad at me. I get it; so scared you get mad. He did say that it could have happened to either one of us.  My chest is still rattling and I'm mad too-- for all sorts of reasons.

Bottom line, I'm glad you're home and safe. I love you, Talon. I'm glad you're mine. I love you to infinity and beyond.

Love,

Mama